I was a young girl, selfish and wild, like a fire in LA

COVER "Because of You" by Lana Del Rey

I'm pursuing acting, so if anybody wants to work with me, let me know! I don't have a demo reel yet because I don't have any footage yet but I'll get that done by the end of the summer. I went to my first audition today and it was just improv but I still had a lot of fun. I'm also working on memorizing a partial script for another audition. It's fun playing around with your face and tone of voice. I wish I started earlier, like, if I could have done this while at UBC or even in high school.

It's never too late.




I feel like up until now, my life has been a complete joke.

Every day my head gets a little clearer.

Thank God I'm still alive 'cause I really didn't think I'd last this long. Also, smoking is a really bad habit -- please don't start. Yeah, I'm talking to you.

I'll quit smoking when I turn 25.

Spent the last month and a half selling Moneris machines using business-to-business marketing, which means walking quite a lot. There's a line separating my toes from the rest of my feet from me wearing the same flats in the sun every day. I'm straight-up brown right now, except for my chest, which is still pretty pale, and of course my toes.

I quit on Monday.

Right now, I have enough money to last me 'til August. I'll find a mindless job before then and focus on my art (said every creative post-grad ever).

But seriously though.


By the Sea

The ocean and the sun are masters of their realm. One lives with force and the other by time. The sun is not eternal; death awaits her too. But she is bigger than you or me, and so it may seem that she will live forever.
I feel small when I imagine the lives of planets and stars, and people who appear to be planets themselves.
But there is light in all of us, regardless of the time of day. We can inhabit the skins of nocturnal creatures too.
We live among giants. We strive to become giants, immortal, invincible.
The city becomes our friend and our enemy. The city is a jungle, and the jungle is a home.
The jungle is a home.
Ask yourself tonight: what am I so scared of?



Please sit with us, I'm only wearing this shirt Ironically

TOPS brandy melville / JACKET used house of vintage / SOCKS and SCRUNCHIE american apparel / TIGHTS topshop / SHOES thrifted / BACKPACK secondhand
Sometimes I can fully feel my presence in the moment; everything is clear and the air around me registers my physical body. Sometimes I don't have complete control over myself; my mind is elsewhere and my mouth runs on empty. My past begins leaking into my present.
Can you picture the ones who hurt you in this present moment? Do you see them as who they used to be, or who they are now? Are they still the same person; are you still the same person? How can you ever know?

Two exams to go before I'm finished with my undergrad! I'M SO OLD OMG GAHHHH IS THIS A DREAM OR A NIGHTMARE *loud incoherent screeching noises*

Okay, anyway, I wish you the best of luck in whatever you're doing at the moment and if you know a magic spell to freeze/go back in time, let me know, because I'm turning 22 in six months and my life is gonna go downhill from there, from what I've heard. Stay awesome.



There's still a lot to learn and experience and understand. High school never bothered to teach me the more important concepts, only math and science and English.

But there's time to learn, and room to grow. And there are mentors all around you, if you look close enough.
We are more than vessels travelling in infinite space.

We are following our predetermined fate.

Do you believe that your life has already been decided for you?

Though not by a god, or any deity.

There is no God. There is no external deity, except for the Divine that you can achieve through creation and imagination.
But from the moment you were conceived, there was a reason for everything that has happened.

This reason came from the universe -- the collision of atoms that make up living cells -- and within you.

You are a child of the universe.

You are the universe.

And when you end your journey, you'll give back to it during your lifetime, as will I.

Photography by Noah Ferguson
Styling, Makeup, and Photo Editing by Sunny Chen

Special thanks to the spirits dwelling in Mountain View Cemetery for letting us shoot in their home.

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