7/28/10

bitter slice of life


Gah thanks so much for the advice guys.
i'm so bad when it comes to guys.
i feel like... hmm you know that girl in Clueless? the one played by brittany murphy (bless her soul)? yeah i'm even more clueless than her. waaay more. and i'm more easily embarrassed & flustered.

anyway, i had lunch/dinner with one of my friends today -- (linner? dunch?)
we talked about guys. we talked about The Incident That Happened in Grade 9. i apologized to her. she shook her head. she looked sad. we talked about guys some more. we ate our sushi rolls, and i slurped my beef udon. i tried to make conversation. she talked to me about people waiting for her in the Philippines. she's flying back tomorrow! 3 weeks in the place where she grew up. 3 weeks meeting up with old friends and family. amazing huh. she moved here when she was 11, so her childhood mainly takes place in the Philippines. she tells me she still emails and chats with her friends over there, and really i am so jealous because of that. i have never even heard from any of my friends from China. but i think the reason for that is because i was only 6 when i left for Canada. i didn't even know what 'email' was.. and Facebook didn't exist back then. at least... i don't think it did. anyway, after eating, i still wanted to talk to her, but didn't know what to say. we just sat down at a table in Mac's and tried to talk some more tho i felt as if we were running out of things to say to each other. i told her she should finish packing. we hugged at the intersection and i told her to have fun, let go of whatever happened in Canada, and meet as many new people (and old friends) as she can. we hugged again and i walked away and she crossed the road.

 i'm slowly trying to patch things up with her because i know things are awkward and fragile right now, even though we're both over it now. i just want her to know that i don't think it was her fault and i don't blame her or anybody. it was a little bit of everything, you know? a bitter slice of life.

she was saying how people were still talking about her short-lived relationship with this one guy that happened 3 years ago... how nobody believes her that they've broken up. to me, this is surprising because i knew that nothing really happened between them, and she had confided in me that they didn't do anything together that friends wouldn't do. but still, after all these years, people in her family, people who are friends with her family, and people who are within her community are talking about this one little moment of her life, and passing judgement and criticism even though they don't know the whole story, and making it to be a bigger deal than it ever was...

that just about proves that people can make anything last as long as they want, and that life doesn't ever forgive anyone easily.

i think i've written enough here so i'll leave you guys now! thank you again for the amazing advice and comments and yeah FUCK HIM or actually DON'T FUCK HIM because he's one perv that i will never see/hear/touch/smell/taste again.

tomorrow (well, today at 12ish/noon) i'm facetrading! i ordered 2 necklaces and a cute tiny tee with lots of kisses on it to make up for the few i wasted.
good night <3

28 comments:

  1. i hate when i have boy problems too :( my friend actually has a thing against dating high school boys. HAHA. hmm..she might on to something.

    anyway! i love your outfit and that shirt is soo cute! and those glasses are c-h-i-c.

    the lighting effect in your photos is so cool. it's somewhat nostalgic and vintage-y. how did you do it?

    Love,
    vintage-birdy.blogspot.com
    {no, it's not about birds}

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  2. This one is suppa cool! x)

    Lighting, style, and outfit is great here =)


    Xoxo,
    Pinkie Angia

    http://sugarpuff.jp.pn

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  3. I like your outfit. The glasses are lovely.
    Feel better! <3

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  4. Wow, yeah, people can be really harsh, we're always so quick to spot other people's flaws but so ignorant to our own. I am happy that she's kept in contact with her friends back home, I wish her the best :)

    xxx
    Annie
    www.mesmericoutsider.blogspot.com

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  5. Wow, those glasses look great on you. You're so pretty.

    Don't let things upset you :) Shop and feel better!

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  6. omgggg beef udon *drool* !! you have no idea how much I crave good food right now lol.
    and I feel the same way !!! abt friends in China...b/c I moved here when I was 10 tho back then in 99' (omg),internet was like....non existent.

    although I've found some friends from way back when on the chinese facebook! renren.com, give it a try :D maybe you'll get lucky.


    <3 Lily

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  7. Love your shirt, Hate Mondays...especially during school!
    ARGHH.

    rtf! Follow when you can :]

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  8. Wow. Your comment was sooooooooooooo long. Jeez.





    Kidding! <3 :) I loved reading it. Your comments are always the best.

    I've never read the PLL books, but I'm totally planning on it. And yeah, there was a lot of makin' out earlier on. Lately it's been far more suspenseful and creepy, which I like. :) (Why the hate-on for Aria, btw?) <- Yeah, she undeniably dresses well. IWANTHERCLOSET.

    SORORITY LIFE! Oh God, I've wasted SO MUCH OF MY LIFE playing that. Stupidly addicting (like Pokemon). If you're easily entertained by repetitiveness, NEVER PLAY POKEMON unless you plan on doing nothing else for the rest of your life (I have this problem and it's slightly embarrassing).

    I will definitely get hammered and probably do something I regret, but I will try not to. :P I have friends to watch out for me (until they get totally plastered too...hmm...) GROW UP FASTER! <-- JKS, don't. It sucks. Stay 16 (you are 16, right? If not, I feel like a total idiot) FOREVAAHHH. Or maybe be 21 with no responsibilities (as if).

    Your shoes are so cute! <3 I'm glad I've never had to experience moving. I'm too fragile. I'd like...die. And not make new friends because I'd be depressed. Or...something. Ahem.

    Life will brighten, promise. I had a whole 2.5 years of shittiness, and it DID get better. :)

    - xo, kyki ♥

    lunacy--fringe.blogspot.com

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  9. It's terrible when people are so judgmental. Really they do it more out of boredom and to cover up the fact that they don't really know the person they're accusing of stuff. At least she has kept in touch with her friends back home though...hopefully those friends will last a lifetime.

    I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people too. I didn't keep in touch with any of my elementary/middle school friends (except for being randomly fb friends with some of them), and I ended up regretting it a huge amount. I think most people are like that though. A lot of people seem to drop about half their high school friends when they go to college, which doesn't make much sense to me since all my high school friendships are really close and I think a lot of other peoples' were too.

    Also good for you for deciding to sever ties with that dude. If he's gonna be a selfish douche and not respect your wishes, then he doesn't deserve you. Also, guys assume all girls are easy because...a lot of them are. Sometimes of their own accord, but a lot of times because they feel pressured by guys to put out. Sad but true.

    And don't worry about the whole "wasted first kiss" thing because as I said before, once you meet the right person (which will happen!) that won't even matter to you anymore who your first kiss was.

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  10. oh no. your friend sounds so sad D: i wish i could hug her as well! i hope she has fun in the phillipines.

    sometimes it is weird! when some friends ... there are these awkward silences, and its like ... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhm. but you still want to talk to them, but you just dont know waht to say.

    anyyyyyyyways. glad the PERV is done and over with. GOOD GOOD!

    lesson learned though right? sometimes it takes one mistake to get us back on the right path!

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  11. Your gorgeous and after reading this post, smart as hell ;)

    keep being you!

    Love your glasses!!!!
    Cheers, Jesa

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  12. You look so cute in this post. I looove your glasses.
    It's so sad when things are awkward between friends. It's like that with me and my *best* friend at the moment, and I'm trying to sort it out because I don't want to lose her but it's so hard.
    I hope everything works out alright for you and your friend.

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  13. HA, you two better have thought of me while eattin ;DD

    dude cnt believe she already went bck, so soon. gosh~ know how you felt

    LMAO FINALLY WITH CRW HEAVEN? HAHA
    im such a bad influence LMOA ;)


    anyways love your quote comment thing
    wish i could do the same. gosh~ person wnt leave HAHA

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  14. ugh im having a hard time dealing with issues of my oldest best friend that i had a falling out with...i swear i had a meltdown yesterday bc i found out she was engaged over FACEBOOK..kill me. It sucks im not a part of her life for it. but i think its soo much better to try to move on from things..im trying to =)

    xx

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  15. oh man dude you have got to watch The Room!! It will CHANGE YOUR LIFE forever. You know how some movies are "so bad it's good." This is like "so bad it's genius." One of my friends was like, "OMG...I didn't know that a film could seem even MORE awesome...DAYS after you watched it."

    Actually it's really weird because one of my other friends found a random The Room reference on a completely random blog. I think it's maybe having a moment, or something. I had read about it on Wikipedia a while ago but then Isabel of Hipster Musings made a twitter post about it back in May and I was like "omg I should totally watch this."

    hahaha, "pay to enter." The student discount sucked too...make of that what you want. We were actually half-joking about how we were gonna try to get kicked out of the museum...possibly by trying to start an orgy and seeing if any of the security people would notice/care. But $17 a person is wayyy too expensive for that. I mean we could just have an orgy in Central Park right? jk

    idk, I think the issue with "tribal" is that people apply the word to pretty much everything that looks African-ish/other races too? So it's like, disregarding the fact that there are about a million different cultures that this "tribal" is referring to and lumping it together into one giant Westernized co-optation.

    Millions of girls before you have been blinded by selfish douches in a similar manner...it probably happens to everyone at least once. I mean I'm not too much of a good advice-giver when it comes to dudes given that my love life is kind of a horrific trainwreck, but I would say that the guy who is perfect for you might not be the guy you expect...he might not have all the qualities that you think you're looking for, but he'll have the ones that really count and you'll just know that he's right for you anyway. Just don't think so hard about it :)

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  16. Glad you patched things up with your friend.

    Oh, and loving your shirt (the monday one), since I hate mondays. . .)

    P.S, I'd be too embarrassed to post my stories! But maybe I'll make a seperate blog and post 'em there:D

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  17. Oh my Lord, woman. Now I have yet ANOTHER pointless addiction. THANKSALOT. :P Haha. YAY FOR SLEEP DEPRIVATION!!

    I suppose you're right about Aria. I just really like her personality - doesn't fit with the story all the time, though. :/ HRRRMM. I can't wait for it to be Tuuessdaayy. Til then I'm stuck watching Degrassi. (Which I also love. But not as much. Shhh...)

    I think that, because you're awesome, and I'm awesome, we should collabarate on something ULTIMATELY AWESOME. Ya dig? ;) <--(maybe I should have used a less creepy emoticon. A smiley face didn't seem to suffice, though. My intentions are not creepy, just so we're clear.)

    & i love you too! :D

    - xo, kyki ♥

    lunacy--fringe.blogspot.com

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  18. Hey! I totally heart your blog!It's a really fun read=)

    Following!

    XOXO,
    Braffkins @ braffs-world.blogspot.com

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  19. BOYS ARE TOYS, GIRL! BE STRONG!

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  20. yea, i have a boyfriend. 2 years together :X :D

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  21. i read yesterday's post then felt annoyed with myself that i never replied and gave you advice. then i realised i'm terrible at boys and relationships so my advice would be awful. so i suppose in a way i saved you the grief? :')
    your outfit is really nice, and i suppose all i have to say is that it's better you found out he was a douchebag now than later, riight?
    x x x

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  22. I need to do more online shopping.I want your shirt haha

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  23. Hehe I hate Mondays too. They're just so... Monday-y. Love the blog. :} I'm so following. Feel free to follow me as well.
    -Jodie
    BTW... Did you copyright anything?

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  24. omg mimi i miss your emails...

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  25. aw thanks ! i dislike my nose as well =_= it looks all wide and squishy, LOL.

    & i agree inception started off kind of cheesy and i got kind of bored before the twists came up but once they did i forgot i was in a theater and got so absorbed into the story.

    i really love your insight on the situation with your friend and i completely agree. people who didn't live it and weren't there think they know better of what happened? it's sad how people think their judgment is better when they don't even know what they're judging.

    i hope everything goes well with your friend! i wish i had advice to give for the guy thing but i'm just as clueless =\ but i guess, if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

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  26. oooo and its easier to quit at the beginning then at the end, its a quote i know and i think the principal works =D

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  27. mimiiiii, where are you girl?

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  28. what an awesome outfit :D
    I like it :)

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