bitter slice of life

to commemorate yesterday, fuck.

Gah thanks so much for the advice guys.

i'm so bad when it comes to guys.

i feel like... hmm you know that girl in Clueless? the one played by brittany murphy (bless her soul)? yeah i'm even more clueless than her. waaay more. and i'm more easily embarrassed & flustered.

anyway, i had lunch/dinner with one of my friends today -- (linner? dunch?)

we talked about guys. we talked about The Incident That Happened in Grade 9. i apologized to her. she shook her head. she looked sad. we talked about guys some more. we ate our sushi rolls, and i slurped my beef udon. i tried to make conversation. she talked to me about people waiting for her in the Philippines. she's flying back tomorrow! 3 weeks in the place where she grew up. 3 weeks meeting up with old friends and family. amazing huh. she moved here when she was 11, so her childhood mainly takes place in the Philippines. she tells me she still emails and chats with her friends over there, and really i am so jealous because of that. i have never even heard from any of my friends from China. but i think the reason for that is because i was only 6 when i left for Canada. i didn't even know what 'email' was.. and Facebook didn't exist back then. at least... i don't think it did. anyway, after eating, i still wanted to talk to her, but didn't know what to say. we just sat down at a table in Mac's and tried to talk some more tho i felt as if we were running out of things to say to each other. i told her she should finish packing. we hugged at the intersection and i told her to have fun, let go of whatever happened in Canada, and meet as many new people (and old friends) as she can. we hugged again and i walked away and she crossed the road.

 i'm slowly trying to patch things up with her because i know things are awkward and fragile right now, even though we're both over it now. i just want her to know that i don't think it was her fault and i don't blame her or anybody. it was a little bit of everything, you know? a bitter slice of life.

she was saying how people were still talking about her short-lived relationship with this one guy that happened 3 years ago... how nobody believes her that they've broken up. to me, this is surprising because i knew that nothing really happened between them, and she had confided in me that they didn't do anything together that friends wouldn't do. but still, after all these years, people in her family, people who are friends with her family, and people who are within her community are talking about this one little moment of her life, and passing judgement and criticism even though they don't know the whole story, and making it to be a bigger deal than it ever was...

that just about proves that people can make anything last as long as they want, and that life doesn't ever forgive anyone easily.

i think i've written enough here so i'll leave you guys now! thank you again for the amazing advice and comments and yeah FUCK HIM or actually DON'T FUCK HIM because he's one perv that i will never see/hear/touch/smell/taste again.

tomorrow (well, today at 12ish/noon) i'm facetrading! i ordered 2 necklaces and a cute tiny tee with lots of kisses on it to make up for the few i wasted.

good night <3

is somewhat annoyed :/

okay

i've just been on the worst first date ever.

1) when a girl says she doesn't want to kiss you, it probably means she doesn't want to kiss you
2) when a girl doesn't want to kiss you, and means it, you shouldn't try harder to kiss her
3) flattery will get you nowhere on a first date
4) okay so you have an awesome amazing car, and you look gorgeous but still that doesn't mean she's going to kiss you
5) touching her and wrapping your arms and legs around her is not going to make her kiss you/like you more
6) she will get annoyed at you because all she wanted was to hang out at your place and get to know you better cuz you met her 2 days ago and asked for her number
7) she will attempt to punch you/kick you where it hurts
8) she will ask to leave your place and yeah so you drove all the way down to her house to pick her up and now you're driving her back, but it doesn't mean she wants to makeout with you in the car
9) okay so you're leaving to play in a ball hockey tournament in toronto tomorrow and all you wanted was to have some fun to get psyched before you leave but still, she thought you just wanted to hang out and will not have your version of "fun"
10) continuously guilt-tripping her and saying "you have to be more open" and "i did all this for you" will not make her makeout with you!

i'm VERY annoyed actually. VERY.

jeez

i don't even know what else to blog about

because
this
sucks.

he's coming back in like a week but says since his brother is leaving for india, his parents will be more strict with him and won't let him go out as much so basically that's a whole month that he can't see me

okay so i think he's gorgeous and really nice
but he's just a little... focused on sex.

WHY?

also i'm a little suspicious. he keeps telling me to "trust him" but really i think he's saying "trust me and makeout with me now".

so a whole month...

should i keep seeing him?
will he even call me?
why do i care?

i'm PISSED off.

cuz i gave up my first kiss for a guy who kissed like a slobbery dog.

okay end rant, outfits:

info here and here

i'm pissed off.


okay oops forgot about some stuff to blog about cuz I'M ANNOYED


here you go:

strawberry souffle masque [SOOO YUMMY]

my bestie/lover (WHO I'M ON THE PHONE WITH RIGHT NOW CUZ I'M PISSED OFF AND WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PAST FAILED BOY-LATIONSHIPS) and i went to go see Inception. AMAZING movie, GENIUS cast, and AWESOME plot line. i recommend everyone who's reading this still (THANKS) to go watch it.

well this is a weird pic. thanks F. <3 you are an awesome person and an amazing friend. no one else is like you. sometimes i forget that you are so amazing bc i'm so selfcentered. F. i feel like you're the only person i can talk to sometimes. so i love you for listening to me complain about a certain guy, certain friendships, life, and... well yeah i love you baby. thanks for reminding me that certain guys aren't worth it.

and lastly:

TOTD: call me only if you want a relationship, okay? not sex

love, sunny mimi chen

QUICKIE LETTER

hi guys! sorry for not replying to your comments yet. ):
i will! don't you worry. (:

via aspyringmachine

can you believe it's been a whole week since my last post? it's like... wow... what have i been up to this week:

- working @ hut of hell
- practicing guitar [well... not really. i've been procrastinating...]
- watching movies [remember, i have a whole list of them to finish watching! examples: 'boy in the striped pajamas', 'pulp fiction', 'billy elliot', 'heathers', 'being john malkovich', 'synecdoche, new york' and a whole bunch others]
- helping out with my dad's business [he rented a space in the Chilliwack mall, this tiny little building with about 15 shops and a food court with 2 places to eat; so guess who gets to sit in for him on days when he has errands to run? :/ it's a little tiring b/c we have to wake up at 8am and get going early, since Chilliwack is pretty far from where we live. and i have to stay at the mall until around dinnertime. sigh. i learned from last time: BRING A BOOK.]
- coping with my mother being back home [she flew back from China, and... well, she started yelling and screaming at my grandfather this morning... it really hurt me. my grandfather is a good person. both my grandparents are. they (my dad's parents) are so strong and powerful, even in the worst of times. it's just that... sometimes my mother can be completely inconsiderate of others, and she can make a bad situation worse... i think the house was more peaceful and normal with her gone.]

lately i feel a little detached from the world socially. i've got a lot to think about for the upcoming school year. i mean... SENIOR YEAR. it's big, it's huge, it's going to be tough. i need to rethink my friendships with a few people, how i present myself to others, and basically... i need to b e t t e r myself.

every year, i think:
- i'm going to be prettier
- i'm going to be smarter
- i'm going to be funnier
- i'm going to be accepted
- boys will like me more
- girls will like me more
- teachers will like me more
- i'm going to fall in love
- i'm going to grow taller
- i'm going to look my age [never happens. people still think i'm in elementary. hah. hah. not funny]
- i'm going to be less moody
- i'm going to be less angry and manipulating
- i'm going to find a best friend that won't backstab me/make me feel bad
- my family is going to be less dysfunctional
- my mother's depression will be cured
- my dad is going to get a real job
- so that the accumulating debt will be paid off
- so i can finally s l e e p at night

of course that doesn't happen.
but i'm working on it.
i'm thinking, by graduation, at least one of these things will be achieved.

good night, lovelies! need to sleep so i can wake up @ 8!
also, yes yes yes i will reply to all your amazing comments
because guess what?

i love you.

x

combinations combinations...

my sis and i got a home-facial for fun:

<- i really like this product. it actually heats up with water. pretty sweet. oh and did i mention you can get it at walmart for only $1.29?

i got two more: the peel-off masque and a strawberry souffle.

 and now we look like this:

 ...

just kidding (;

kay so here are some camwhore shots of me (i don't have any notable outfit pics to post, sorry)

and my sis is too young for camwhoring so there are none of her. she ran off afterwards to play Build-a-Bear online. WTF LOL kids these days.

I gotta bus to work soon. i don't rly like work. There are some new people there who are completely obnoxious and fake. I like most of the ppl i work with, thank god, but i can't stand the OFP (obnoxious and fake people). when they say things to me like "Oh you're so skinny, I'm jealous" I feel like throwing up over their Coach bags and false eyelashes... but that'll be too hard to do; I'd have to project the puke first onto their bags and then quickly swivel my head to aim at their face. Most of the time, i ignore them, but i can't appear to be too antisocial (b/c I don't want to get fired, for example), so of course I'll fake laugh at them -> "faughing" has never been so annoying. esp when i'm the one who's doing it.

The good thing is, most of them will be fired or they'll quit after a while.

If I wasn't so lazy, I'd apply for other jobs... = = But honestly, i've just gotten comfortable working at the Hut of Hell, no matter if it's about 98% hell and 2% faughing.

ONTO MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS:

DOUGLAS COUPLAND X ROOTS! [sure i don't shop there, but now i might]

My favourite Canadian author (Gen X, jPod, Miss Wyoming, Eleanor Rigby, etc, etc, etc!) is now teamed up with Roots for a clothing line. Two things I love the most, literature & fashion, have now been combined into one category of FULL OUT AWESOMENESS in technicolour.

The best part are the athletic jackets for men:

Yeah Canada pretty much rocks.

Alrightie then.

Later.

x

PRIDE ALIVE

EDIT: Just came back from the movie. The effects were great (watched it in 3D) but the acting was lacking in many aspects; there just wasn't that personableness and back-story to the characters of the movie that was in the cartoons. All in all, it was a condensed version (and a version that might be more appealing to children) of Book One of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Some chars were missing as well, which I didn't like. And Sokka wasn't even funny! Sure Jackson Rathbone is a really good looking actor, but he just wasn't Sokka. Anyway, rant over, this is what I wore:

[/edit]

all the dancers.

vid shot by my lil sis.

This video will not leave my blog okay?
I know I know.. the dance was cheesy, the music was cheesier, but I felt such a patriotism at the performance because the dancers were all so supportive and determined and friendly. So what if things fell apart and problems arose? Nothing could stop us.

(Yuck cheesy dance moves.)

It was fun and I think I might do it again next Canada Day (:

we like hugging random bowling pin mascots kay?

Today I'm going to go see a movie with a friend!
The Last Airbender. I was an avid watcher of the cartoon series about a year ago, cuz you know, i'm a kid at heart, so even if the movie has gotten some bad reviews, I'm still going to go see it :D
J. and I were going to dress up but he wimped out ("I don't have access to the Drama room's costumes anymore" via txt) so unfortch I can't show you some awesome cosplay that I was planning out with only my own articles of clothing and some scary makeup. lol

I WILL MAKE ANOTHER VLOG SOON,
PINKY PROMISE.