give me something soporific to eat

BRALETTE Garage Clothing (DIY bow) / MESH TOP and FURTAIL Mexyshop / SHORTS Mimi Mcqueen / GARTER & THIGH HIGHS eBay / BAG gifted secondhand

HOODIE Dolly Shoppe (FB retailer) / TEE Urban Planet / SKIRT thrifted / SOCKS Claire's

^Dirty mirror is dirty.

I'm feeling down tonight.

Even though I've gone to a close friend's 18th birthday party and thoroughly enjoyed it. Met some cool people, tried not to eat too much.

I think I'm the best when surrounded by other people.

When I'm alone and left with my own thoughts, it feels like everything's going against me.

Drank a lot with some old high school friends after work on Friday. It was fun and relaxing and completely unexpected.

One of them walked me home, it was really sweet. But I couldn't sleep when I got back. Got up at 3 A.M. and stumbled through the house to get water. Starved myself a bit because I had eaten too much earlier. Then just sat on my bed and watched episodes of How I Met Your Mother until 9 A.M. and then fell asleep. It was weird because I kept waking up and going back to sleep and it was like I couldn't turn my consciousness off, not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't. Every time I woke up I'd check my alarm clock. Always a half hour of sleep, then waking up, another half hour of sleep and then waking up again.

What is wrong with me. Why do I create problems for myself when I don't need them at all?

Also I left my wallet and all my cards at his house, and I feel so dumb. I have never lost anything before even though I've blacked out many times and always walked to the frats and back at UBC completely drunk. Never. If this had happened elsewhere and I couldn't find my stuff, my mom would never trust me with anything again. She bases everything on my ability to not mess things up.

I'm starving. At the party I ate three fried doughnuts, a handful of dill pickle chips, a hot dog (without the bun), and 1/4 plate of salad. And drank some ginger ale. That's also my entire meal for the day. Haven't eaten anything else since last night when I got up at 3.

I have a headache.


  1. oh darling. EAT. and drink less when you are eating less :(
    and chill. you're not fat i swear. :)
    mad love,

  2. Dude, that sounds like a rough night. I get super depressed when I've had a night of heavy drinking too. Don't ruminate, you will feel better once your head is clear.

    I don't live anywhere close to UBC. I live in New Westminster and love it here. No other pretentious hipsters, only me. :P.

    We should meet up and go shopping.

  3. You've got a great body! Please start eating more healthy if you can. The more regular your meals are (and nutritious), the better you'll feel! Exercise kicks up those endorphins too so that's why most people feel awesome after working out!

    Joyce @ carouselstreet.com


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