I'm wearing shorts underneath, don't worry.

My insomnia is getting pretty bad. I'm certain I'll be dozing off and flopping awkwardly out of my seat in class while the English professor is reading The Knight's Tale to us in an enthusiastic, treble voice. I lose consciousness for a mere second and suddenly my head jerks, my arm flings itself at the air, and sometimes I blurt out "what" or "huh" or "okay" in a pragmatic manner as I regain consciousness. (This is very bad in a class of 25 students.)

Had a strange Saturday night... Went on a coffee date with someone I'd met on the morning bus to UBC. He turned out to be much, much older than I expected which weirded me out as well as confused me. After telling him how old I was in return, he seemed completely fine with it. I don't understand how he could be and this was the confusing part to me: why would he even consider dating girls who have completely different expectations than he had? In addition, we couldn't find a single topic that we could latch onto and fully flesh out. Either he had no opinions to contribute or we just had nothing in common. I believe it to be the latter. When someone is that much more different than you, there really is no connecting on a level that both parties want to connect on, no matter how sincere, cordial, or desperate you are.

I think if he at least listened to a few bands that I listened to, or liked certain films that I liked, I would've been more interested and attracted to him (he was good-looking in the pleasant, harmless way). But he was so boring. Just a boring white boy who grew up to be a boring white man. I know that these things are so trivial (movies, music) but they build up your personality in other people's minds and should be flaunted more in the company of strangers!

The night ended strangely as well. I helped him build his bookcase at his new place, a block away from the cafe, changed his radio station to my favourite one, and tried to explain my thoughts to him. He didn't really understand what I was trying to say, but I don't think this meant he was unintelligent; I'm just very incoherent sometimes because I want to express too many thoughts simultaneously. I refused him a couple times and finally he knew it wasn't going to happen. He walked me back to the bus stop and on the way, I told him we could have a platonic friendship seeing as how we have a similar schedule and are both students at UBC. I thought I could get to know him (he had a lot of books at his apartment, some I've heard of but never read myself [e.g. The Art of War], and I thought we could discuss literature at least) and find something interesting in him. He became defensive and told me that he wasn't a loser who'd wait around and pretend to be friends with someone just so he could "get into her pants". This was something so completely out of character for my built-up schema of him that now when I think back to the date, he's become someone boring AND childish, even more so for a 33 year old grown man.



  1. You look gorgeous! I love this jumper!

    Jade x

  2. Cute outfit. and WTF
    girl we need to talk. NEED TO KNOWWWWWWW all details. :D
    cuz im lame like that


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