11/22/13

BLONDE TO BLACK: THE HAIR STORY

It is evident on my Instagram that I am no longer A Blonde Asian.

I'm sure you're wondering what being A Blonde Asian was really like:

1) You wake up every day feeling exactly the same. Your hair sits, weightless, atop your scalp like a fur coat for your head; you can barely feel it.

2) Everyone compliments you on The Hair. You tell this joke: "I'm not a natural blonde, believe it or not," and it gets funnier every time.

3) You decide to dye it purple at one point, and glow temporarily with refound satisfaction. You look like a tiny fairy-alien hybrid in photos. Imagine yourself hovering under a gigantic leaf, miniscule wings fluttering - invisible to the human eye - in the breeze.

4) But because you used Manic Panic vegan dye, the purple fades and you're A Blonde Asian again. "Okay, great," is your response every morning in front of the mirror, examining the residue lavender patches of hair. It's a small excitement to wake up to a lighter shade every morning, like, "Oh, surprise, it's fading away."

5) You look amazing in anything. I mean, come on! You're A Blonde Asian: sweatpants and tee, go for it! But, please, do wear the heels once in a while.

6) Professors tend to stare dazedly at Blonde Asians, and awkward eye contact ensues.

7) You forget your hair is blonde but subconsciously learn to pick out a lone white or yellow head in a group photograph. "Oh, there I am."

8) You like meeting strangers who also have noticeable hair, and fervently wish to start an alien girl gang one of these days.

9) Blonde Hairballs clog the shower drain, but it's covered with a sieve that half-works so you'll have to scoop them and throw them in the garbage, but so do regular ol' people, dude.

10) Every day is like a new challenge for you. "What should I wear today?" The answer is easy: "A combination of clothing items that are even more mixed-up than yesterday." Unless it's a Monday or a Wednesday. Those days don't matter. Those are Sweatpants And Tees kind of days (see: #5), and you're relieved that they exist.

11) You hashtag everything with "blondeasian" and it's perfectly acceptable.

P.S. I'm having a photoshoot in the morning with this bad babe, check her out!

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3 comments:

  1. Lovely post! Was really interesting to read!

    Emma x
    http://www.beautyandrags.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  2. omg haha so true! I guilty for trying to make my friends go blonde with me lol :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh man I can't believe how I never commented on your blog anymore. I love the change and facts. I definitely like the Yoko and John poster on your wall :D

    ReplyDelete

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