8/27/14

LOVE

Okay, I'm going to be honest here. I am not a levelheaded person. I'm easily swayed left and right by my emotions, sometimes several times in an hour. I trust and rely on very few people, but I generally give everyone the benefit of the doubt. My boyfriend is the only person I've allowed myself to depend on, and that is what ruins me.

I need to trust more of my friends to be there for me, and I need to open my heart to my family more. The culture shock and language barrier (between my family and me) are obstacles that I can't remove unfortunately, but they are obstacles that I can work around.

School is starting in six days now; I haven't even looked at my booklist.

July and August have been extremely difficult months for me. Moving out has taken a toll, and I constantly slept over at my boyfriend's family's house because I didn't want to transit back to Langley after work every day. I'm eternally grateful to have had a place to stay for a month and a half.

To me, Langley will always have an air of melancholy, because the suburb is a part of my past. Even though my family still lives there and my room is still set up exactly like how it was in high school, the house that sits there is not my home anymore. It hasn't been my home for more than a year now. My home was with Avry, in the apartment that we shared for a mere 12 months. And now my home is wherever I am content, comfortable, and able to be myself.

Two Fridays ago, I made a huge mistake. And now I'm picking up the remaining pieces, trying to patch things up but, alas, there are some pieces missing.

But now I am stronger, and I know I can fill in these holes. I am aware that these holes exist. I am slowly overflowing with love and light that grew from the love I have received before. And that is why I can change.


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